Announcer: This scene takes place in a hardware store in a small north woods lumber town. 

Lumberjack: (Enters) My old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need something that will let me cut more wood, or I'm going to go broke ! 

Owner: Yes, sir! For only one hundred dollars you can be the proud owner of this chain saw. I guarantee that it will cut twice as much wood in a day as your old crosscut saw. 

Lumberjack: (Handing over money) O.K. great! (Exits) 

Announcer: The next day. 

Lumberjack: (Enters tiredly) There's something wrong with this saw. I worked very hard yesterday, and only cut half as much wood as I could with my old saw. 

Owner: Well, sir, I have a lot of faith in this product. Here, I'll put a new chain on it and you give it another try. 

Lumberjack: O.K., but if it doesn't do any better, I'll be back! (Exits) 

Announcer: The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters exhausted) This darned saw is no good. I worked even harder, and still it won't cut half the wood of my old saw! I want my money back! 

Owner: Yes, sir! Just let me take a look at this saw. I cannot imagine why your having any problem…(Pulls starter rope) (Someone offstage makes the noise of a chainsaw) 

Lumberjack: “HEY! WHAT THE HECK IS ALL THAT NOISE?”